The kitchen will be empty until I go to make a meal for everyone and then everyone comes in to fix themselves a snack.

But for real, either help or get out of the way

And then that someone does the following:
- Asks you what you're cooking and why
- Stands in your way
- Asks you why you're doing it that way and not that person's way
- Gives you unwanted tips/advice
- Tells you it looks under/overdone
- Wants to have some of it even though you made it for yourself (and still dares to tell you it needs improvement)

I too used to be like this photo. However, I have changed my approach. If someone is in the kitchen, I just go do something else until kitchen is available. Secondly, communicate and let people know to let you do what you need to do in kitchen